HOW TO: Get Things YOUR Way (A tip for anyone who aspires to achieve what they want in life and leave a legacy)

Whenever someone asks me of what my age is, I always ask them back what they think my age is. I’m never really embarrassed to tell people how old I am until I started seeing new hires around the office. When I find out that they are four to five years younger than me, without even thinking about it, I just blurt out these dang-forsaken words: “Ang tanda ko na!”

I’m 29 years old.

27 years of which I am a daughter, a sister.

19 years of which I am a friend, a student, a leader.

11 years of which I am a girlfriend.

9 years of which I am band vocalist.

8 years of which I am an employee, a follower.

3 years of which I am a wife, a lover, a companion.

2 years of which I am a mother, a provider, a protector.

I should entirely be proud of my life achievements, but somehow instead of getting wiser and stronger, I couldn’t help but become more afraid as I age. Don’t get me wrong, I am not afraid for me.

I have always been a constant headache to my parents because I am one tough girl. We are six in the family. My parents, and us girls. “Two girls, two daughters” my father would always say. I am the second, but I always come first at everything.

Instance number 1: The First Ever Digital Watch.

I was in grade one, when my dad got home from work and called for all of us. He asked us the same question. “What time is it?” We were not rich, we cannot afford a digital clock in the house. It was difficult for us to know what the time was, most of the time we depend on the show playing on TV to know the time. It was I guess with great luck that my teacher was just teaching us how to read the long and short hand of the clock.

“Five Forty!” I shouted. My father smiled at me and told me to get his bag for my present for getting the time right. And there it was, on a leatherette magnetic case was a Casio digital watch – for men. It was actually my father’s watch, but he used it as a motivational object to teach us that being able to read the time is important. I wore it for what seemed like forever. Even while sleeping. I loved that watch. It was the best, most unexpected gift I’ve ever had. I learned that knowledge is essential to get things that motivates you.

Instance number 2: The First Ever Little Mermaid Sing Along Story Book.

As a family we barely go out to the mall together. Not because we didn’t want to be with each other, but because as I said earlier, we weren’t that rich. We only visit the mall if it’s someone’s birthday or if my father had extra money to treat us out. We went to SM North and dad had just received his bonus. He wanted to buy us something that we could share with each other because he couldn’t afford to buy each of us toys.

While looking for the best toy we could share, my sisters started fighting with each other, each letting the other know why her choice was the best. I wanted to shout and tell them what I would have wanted but I realized that there would be no point. So, I shut my mouth and just held my mom’s hand and waited. My father saw me and irritated with my siblings, he asked me instead. “Alin dyan ang gusto mo?” I looked at him and quietly I raised my arm and pointed to the Little Mermaid Sing-Along Story Book sitting on the shelf. It was my favourite cartoon and I just couldn’t get enough of it. I felt bad because my sisters had other toys in mind, again my dad favoured me over them. I then learned that behaviour is one big factor when you want to get things your way.

Instance number 3: The First Daughter to Ever Be Allowed to Go to a Bar.

During our teenage years, our parents did not go easy on us. We had to make sure that we get high grades in school. We had to make sure that we avoid becoming friends with the “bad” crowd. We had to make sure to graduate High School and College without a boyfriend. Jeez!

I loved singing! At the time I knew that God gave me this talent so I can share it to world. Okay well, maybe not to the world, but to others. My parents knew this. Remember the Little Mermaid Sing-Along Story Book? My tape collections grew from there.

I was fifteen when I became a band vocalist. My schoolmates formed a band and I was part of it. I thought that I could do it forever. I remembered praying to God to make my parents realize that I was born for this. One day, I woke up and my mom was calling out to me. She said she wants to show me something. I sluggishly climbed down the stairs, it was a Saturday and I was allowed to sleep longer wasn’t I? I nearly jumped out of my clothes when my mother handed me over these black trousers and black tank top. It was for my band’s gig that night. I guess that was God’s answer to my prayers. I then learned that faith is also another big factor when you want to chase your dreams. That night, I sang my heart out and I’ve never been so fulfilled.

Instance number 4: Romeo and Juliet of the 21^st Century.

I was 24 when I decided to apply at the company where my dad has been working for years now. I got in. Then I met someone. I was in love. I told myself that I can tell my dad about it since technically I am no longer a minor. But I was dead wrong! Apparently, while I was living in my parent’s house, while I am eating the food he bought, while I was sleeping in the bed he provided, I was still his little girl.

I was torn. My heart breaks into millions of pieces every time I see my father’s face burdened when I try to tell him about the man I got to know in the office. The father of the man I was in love with was at war with my dad. It was indeed, the Romeo and Juliet of the 21^st Century. I couldn’t afford to see my father’s heart break while mine was thriving. But what could I do? I was in love.

Fortunately, this person loved me too. He was brave enough to go against all odds and prove my father that he was going to do everything for me. We prayed every Sunday that our parents would finally see past their differences and allow us to be together.

It was March of 2012 when my father happily and willingly walked me down the isle to personally give his then little girl’s hand, to this person his daughter truly loves. That day, I realized that Will is also a big factor to make sure that you get things your way.

Instance number 5: Gift of Life.

Looking back at it, I realize that when I was younger I never really thought about having kids of my own. I always envisioned myself, yes, being with someone whom I love and… that’s it! I never saw myself having and rearing children. Until two years ago when God gave me and my husband the most special gift one can have, the gift of life.

At first, when I told my husband that we were pregnant, I saw fear in his eyes. Well, you could just imagine my frustration when I saw and heard his reaction. Our married life came and passed by like a whirlwind, all so suddenly we were three.  We were… say, just not ready.

My fifth month came and it was time to know the baby’s sex. My husband really wanted to have a boy. Well, as for me, so long as it was perfectly normal, then I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl. The doctor placed that cold plastic object over my jellied belly. After a few seconds of adjustment, the doctor said that she knows the baby’s sex. My husband’s hand clasped mine a little tighter. I knew he was anxious. That awkward silent moment kicked in again and finally, the doctor smiled at him and told him that his wishes had come true. We are having a baby boy.

It was then that I finally saw my husband become genuinely at ease. He was having a baby boy. He was having a playmate.

It was December that same year when our little baby boy is finally ready to meet his parents face to face. I then realized that until you hold something so fragile, something you love so dearly, you know that you will have to do everything you can to get things your way.

I told you earlier that as I grow older I get scared. I get scared every waking day, but not for me. I get scared for my family, most especially for my little one. My life isn’t perfect and I have had my share of crossroads. The only thing I am thankful for is that my parents gave me a foundation to be able to face whatever life brings. I am scared because I am still unsure if I can do what my parents had done for us, for my son. I want him to have a life worth living. I want to be able to see him get things done his way, just like how I did mine.

I may be older now, but I am definitely wiser. The instances I mentioned above are just bits and pieces of the things I learned to prepare oneself in life. It’s not enough that you are popular among your peers, or that you are beautiful or have a model-like figure, it’s not enough that you have all the money in the world. I know of a lot of people who bank on these worldly features to get things done their way. But you know what? In the long run, they all fail. They are still failing.

Age, like any other things in this world will pass and be forgotten, but the legacy and the lessons you leave behind is what and always will remain.